AA

[mollyL]

I have never been to an alcoholics anonymous meeting, but I know alot of people regard it their live preserver, as it were, and make meetings several times as day. I am wondering though, how do the folks that run different AA meetings separate the truly dedicated from posers, or people with definite problems, but it isn't alcohol. I have a couple of examples: my sister-in-law started going to AA meetings. It's true my brother was an alcoholic, and I know that I saw his side in their many fights, but she gave alot worse than she got. She didn't want to go into the group that was made for spouses of alcoholics, she wanted to be in AA, and as far as I know she's still in it. My daughter-in-law's sister is truly an alcoholic, and she was going to AA, but then she heard that a celebrity who'd just gotten out of treatment was attending meetings at a certain place, and she started going there after getting all dolled up, and tried to catch the celebrity's eye. So, how do they sort out the posers? Or do they?

[tater03]

I honestly didn't think that they really wanted people like spouses and such because it is supposed to be a place for just alcoholics to talk about their addictions and the problems they are having or not having.

[trick-r-treat]

I agree - they may not talk as freely with their spouses being there as they would if they were on their own. They somehow feel more of a comradeship with these other people who, even though they are strangers, they have "been there". But sometimes I wonder how they can seem to help each other, when they are all alcoholics - shouldn't they talk to someone who is sober (or "normal", which is the term I used when I used to ask my ex-husband that question)?

[justjoy]

I believe there are separate AA groups for children and spouses/partners. I've never heard of spouses or children being consistently in the AA group that is for the alcoholics themselves - except perhaps by invitation for some reason.

As far as talking to someone "sober", it's my understanding that all participants are supposed to be sober when they attend the meetings. I think it's important for them to have the support of others who are familiar with their experiences, struggles, etc.

[mollyL]

I agree with all of you, it should only be for the alcoholics only. My sister-in-law was not an alcoholic yet she went to the AA meetings. I don't know what she told them, if she lied and said she was an alcoholic, but she attended AA for a number of years. My daughter-in-law is indeed an alcoholic and definitely could benefit from AA, but the only reason she was going to the one she chose was to get close to the celebrity (I know that sounds wacky, but she's a wacky gal). So, how does AA separate the serious people from the posers? Or can they?

[justontime]

So, how does AA separate the serious people from the posers? Or can they?

I had never thought about that before. I guess most people who attend AA have had to learn to recognise the truth and to be honest with themselves. They may be better placed than most to recognise someone at the start of their journey. From the little I know AA is not an easy option and anyone who was abusing the support and trust offered would soon be recognised for what they were.

[steppysteph]

I think AA is there to help you recover, but ultimately it is the willingness of the person to recover that is important. So if you want to recover, it doesn't matter which AA you go to as long as you are serious about it.
They probably don't want to turn out the posers if they saw one because they might think that there is still a chance for these posers to recover and maybe be inspired by the other AA members.

[Green-Moo]

I don't think anyone who attends a meeting can be considered a poseur, because attending a meeting implies some sort of need. OK someone might attend a meeting once or twice just out of curiousity, but they won't stay the course.